From Meltdown to Nurse Mode: A Morning in My World

Some mornings feel impossible. Today was one of them.

It started with a meltdown — not mine (yet), but my child’s. Autism doesn’t run on our schedule, and this morning vacation care felt like a mountain too high for my little one to climb. We spent two full hours navigating big feelings, gentle encouragements, strategies we’ve practiced, tears (his and nearly mine), and so much emotional labour that I swear it could count as a full shift on its own.

All I needed — all I wanted — was to get him into the car. Just to take those few steps from the front door to the back seat, so we could begin the day. So I could drop them off safely. So I could go to work. But nothing about it was simple.

And when we finally did it — when we finally made it into the car — I was already late. I knew it. I felt it in my chest, heavy like the exhaustion of a full day before the clock even hit 9am.

The drive to work is only ten minutes, but today it was my ten minutes. Ten minutes of silence. Ten minutes of feeling everything I had to suppress to hold things together earlier. I wanted to cry. I wanted coffee — badly — but there wasn’t time for that either. Not today.

Because the world keeps spinning. My patients don’t know my morning. My colleagues don’t see the hour-long struggle to get socks on. They just see the nurse walk in.

So I pulled into the car park, took a breath, and whispered to myself:
3… 2… 1… Nurse hat on.

And just like that, the colourful scrubs are in place. Hair bow secure. Smile ready. The bubbly, cheerful nurse shows up, because my job — and my patients — deserve that version of me. Even when I feel like a shaken snow globe inside, I show up.

That’s what we do. That’s what so many of us do — the parents, the carers, the ones living two lives before breakfast.

Today was hard. And if you’ve had a day like this too, I see you. You’re not alone. And we’re doing the best we can — even when we’re running on empty and skipping coffee.

With love (and probably mismatched socks on under the scrubs, only kidding, I would never wear mismatched socks)
Tiana the colourful Nurse